It’s amazing the safety that you can find within a group of trusted friends. I went to a late-night bonfire on an invitation from my friend, Hayley Bidez. An invite to the Bidez household is an assurance of being around solid human-beings. There we will people that you know and love and you can bet that whoever you meet that you don’t know you can easily come to love them as well. I met Evy that night. We didn’t chat all that much that evening, but the conversation that we had was intentional and honest. All that I could ask of a conversation of any degree. The mutual friend that introduced us said without one ounce of hesitancy that I should include Evy within this project. I obviously took the advice.
Evy is one of the sweetest souls that I’ve met. I mean it. It’s almost scary how delicate and kind her spirit is. When it comes to describing the qualities of a person the word “delicate” may often been seen as a negative trait but I don’t mean it to be in the slightest in this case. Consider other delicate things in and around our lives. Many of which when joined together create something not only of great strength but beauty as well. Like many threads of silk woven into a breathtaking fabric.
I came to understand this about her as we talked on the day of the shoot and I learned a little bit about her life and the recent difficult break-up she’d had. A chapter change in life often seems chaotic, and unraveling. It shakes the truth that we’d come to know and rely on and life doesn’t make so much sense for a while. No doubt, there is a lot to grow from in these unwelcome changes, but it doesn’t make them any less difficult.
I was glad to see that Evy is not only keeping her head up but at the same time being honest about how the whole situation has impacted her and her life. Going through any kind of grief is a process. To completely come to the other side of you you have to let yourself feel it and even come to accept some difficult truths. You can go through it knowing that you’ll come out better and stronger on the other side but there will still be days when you just can’t seem to find a reason to get out of bed.
Read below to hear Evy speak on this as well as joys she finds in her life.
On a final note, I want to explain why I chose the specific image above as Evy's main image for her project entry. There are many photos that we did that I love, but this one in particular I see that delicate strength that I was talking about. I see her finesse as a woman, her wandering heart and a power that I feel has yet to be entirely realized but is on the cusp of discovery. I’m happy to have you as a part of 104, Evy! Thank you for sharing your heart! You’re wonderful!
Love Aimlessly, My Friends
On a fundamental level, what gets you out of bed every day?
Oh gosh! No one’s ever asked me that! Let me think about it for a sec. Right now, I think it’s different than normal. I’ve just gone through a break-up and it’s sent me all out of whack. I used to just get up, but Ifeel more depressed than I was so it’s a lot harder for me to get out of bed in the morning and my answer has probably changed drastically in the last month.
I really just love people. I love people so much and I love learning about them. And I love plants… ha!
I do feel like there’s so much opportunity within a day to get to know others. To form bonds. I try to hang out with my friends every day. I guess it’s relationships in general that get me out of bed. Also, knowing that I’m going to get to learn and notice so many new things every day.
…It’s weird now. A month ago I would have been able to give such a solid answer. Right now, on most days I don’t really want to get out of bed and end up staying there as long as possible. Sometimes I get out of bed just because I know that I have to heal and push through. If I get up when I really don’t want to I’m bound to learn things that I wouldn’t have and also able to deepen the relationships that I have which has become a lot more important and valuable to me. Now that I’m not focused on one person so much I’m a lot more focused on everyone that I know.
I do love my job. I love to farm! When it’s farming season my answer may be a lot different too. I get up really early, throw on some shorts and really just get out and sweat all day and get drunk at 10am with a bunch of forty-year-olds. Haha! I love it! It’s my favorite thing ever! Just harvesting food and being barefoot in the ground… I love it! I love to explore the earth and the seeds… There’s just so much to notice and there’s so many cool things that happen in the ground that I just really enjoy!
In every season but winter I normally get out of the bed with excitement to be farming. I feel like my purpose is there.
That’s the most round-about answer of all time. There’s just been more days in the past month that I’ve not gotten out of bed at all. My friends have had to come drag me out of bed some days. It won’t be like that forever though. For right now getting out of bed is my only option.
I think healing is 90% of the dirty work. Being forced to just sit with myself. If I’m going to get up I have to do something else, but I also have to get really comfortable with myself and being alone. I have to look at what self-care really looks like and it’s not always pretty. It’s so important though!
To date, what is the greatest lesson that you’ve learned.
It’s probably just that I really don’t know anything. Learning to be alright with that is where I want to be. Just being okay with the freedom of not feeling like I have to nail things down all the time. Anytime that I feel like I’ve gotten something nailed down it’s been so challenged that it makes me realize that I just don’t know anything. It does help me to really grow and it’s helped me in my journey of awareness and consciousness to keep in the back of my mind that nothing is fixed.
I do my best to be an empathetic human-being and try to open up my awareness and consciousness as much as I can. I think that when you can realize that you don’t know anything it helps you to notice more about people, and that’s really what I want. I want to notice people and see them. To get to the root of who they are and why they are who they are. I feel like it’s a lot harder to do that if you have any preconceived judgments about them… about god or the universe. It’s been nice to try to let go. It helps you to love people and I think that’s the only thing in the whole world worth doing.
What is love?
Awareness. Conciseness. Empathy. Forgiveness… even when you don’t want to. I think that it involves a lot of sacrifice, but it’s also self-care. I think that self-care is community-care is caring for the whole planet. More than anything I think it’s awareness. Love is the indescribable purpose of life.The more that you open yourself up to all that it is the more it consumes you and you’re able to let go of so much. Because we’re all created from the same thing I think that we’re all, at our core, love. We just have to do the work to take the barriers away. Everything that we resist about it. Just noticing the blocks and conditioning that we have against love so that we can do away with them. I think that’s done by elevation of consciousness so that we can get back to our purest self.
God as a concept, source, creator, whatever you want to call it, we are all that and we all carry that with us. I think that it’s the most beautiful process in the whole world to be able to let go of things within yourself and grudges, even when you don’t want to but deciding to anyway. It’s so beautiful and it’s one of the most important things that we can do for everything and everybody. Love is the only thing in the whole world that matters. It’s ultimately what gets me out of bed.
About Evy : A farmer by trade, she's described it as her life's purpose. It's intertwined with the love of people and discovery.
From Nashville, TN
Lives in Nashville, TN